This is a good example of a rather bad thief who robbed a petrol station but was then quickly caught after he ran out of petrol. The man had robbed a petrol station in Florida, threatening the clerk with a knife. He then fled with the money but unfortunately for him he ran out of petrol not far from the scene of the crime. He was arrested only a few hours later after he abandoned the car. A perfect example of how not to commit a crime.

A parrot has been banned from attending football games because of his impression on the referees whistle. The parrots owner Irene Kerrigan has been taking her parrot to watch her local club Hertford Heath for some time. The parrot usually mimic the fans by repeating what they say but his latest trick on mimicking the referees whistle managed to stop the match on several occasions. When the referee realised that it was the parrot he was asked to leave.

Two robbers had to leave half of their loot behind because they didn't have a big enough car to carry it away. The robbers could have escaped with £1 million when they hijacked a security van full of cash. Unfortunately when it came to fitting the loot in the car they were forced to leave half of it behind in the van. The van was later discovered with half the money still inside.

Max the parrot has been making a name for himself at South Park birdhouse in Darlington. The parrot was donated to the zoo by his previous owner who became fed up with his bad language. Max frequently tells visitors to f*** off but can also mimic car alarms and mobile phone ringtones. Zookeeper Peter Hansom says “His favourite trick is to stick his head in a tin cup in his cage and then swear. He seems to know it makes a louder sound.”

Police in Bristol who were called out to deal with an escaped alligator might have been relieved to find out that it was simply a toy. Roads were sealed off as they stalked the creature which was hiding in bushes. However, after 30 minutes emergency workers used a camera to zoom in on the reptile and found that it was a harmless stuffed toy.

A burglar was left rather red faced when he was caught by his own shoe lace. The man had smashed his way through a glass window but had then caught his foot. He was left hanging upside down until the homeowner returned. Although he protested he had been trying to stop the burglars the man was arrested and eventually admitted burglary with intent to steal.

A man on a hunting trip had the humiliation of actually getting shot by his dog. The man was shooting pheasants and had put his gun on the ground to collect a bird from over a fence. As he climbed the fence one of his hunting dogs stood on the gun, shooting him in his left leg. Officials are now investigating whether the dog was provoked.

A New York cop who was suspended after failing a drugs test blamed it on his wife’s cooking. The cop said that his wife had used marijuana in the meatballs as a substitute for Oregano. His wife backed up his story but unfortunately for the cop no one believed him.

Wildlife groups in Southern India have created identification cards for wild elephants. The ID cards are a new idea to try and track the effects of poaching. The ID cards contain a picture of the elephant and records data such as tuck length, thickness, angle and arrangement, as well as the shape of the ears and tail length and any scars. The study is currently focussing on male elephants because they are more prone to being targeted by poachers.

A cattle rancher spent seven days in a tree after he wandered into a crocodile swamp. The rancher fell from his horse and injured himself. He decided to climb back on the horse hoping it would take him home, but instead he ended up surrounded by crocodiles. He climbed a tree and spent six nights surviving on two meat sandwiches. He was later rescued by helicopter.

Oliver the monkey has a history of escaping. Oliver lives at the Tupelo Buffalo Park and Zoo in Mississippi but obviously craves his freedom because he keeps getting out. Oliver has managed to pick the locks of his cage and has managed to break out of his cage twice this month. His cage has now been triple secured with extra chains and locks.

A man who found a Christ-like image in a piece of concrete has sold it on Ebay for £500. The image was caused by a smudge of sealant and to me just looks like a smudge of sealant. It’s interesting the places these “divine” images pop up.

Is it Christ? You Decide

A farmer who had created a maze out of his maize crop became lost inside it. He had been mowing paths through the maze when he became lost and had to mow his way out. He has now decided to make the maze easier for visitors.

A crazed heifer that was on loose has now been caught meaning the people of Darlington can now sleep easy in their beds. The cow had escaped on Thursday. It was finally found in a field with other cows.... funny that.

A heifer is on the loose in Darlington after it escaped from a cattle market. The cow has been described as extremely dangerous and police have warned it will attack anyone it sees. The public have been told be vigilant and not to approach it under any circumstances.

Bournemouth Council has banned its leisure centres from using armbands and rubber rings. Apparently blowing up inflatable’s by mouth spreads germs and is deemed too unsafe. So apparently it’s now more acceptable for someone to drown because they can't use a rubber ring than risk catching germs.

Dogissimo is a new ice cream for dogs. It is available in rice, vanilla-rice and soy flavours and has recently gone on sale in Vienna. Simona Leonardini who makes the ice cream tested the recipes on her own dogs until she perfected one that they all liked.

A man in Grimsby was attacked by a parrot as he entered a room in the bed and breakfast, he was staying at. The parrots owner could not be traced so Mr Kernohan decided to take the parrot home to Crawley with him.

I came across these great Simpsons quotes. Among some of the good ones are “Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three “Highlander movies” from Comic Book Guy and “I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman” from Homer.

Even the happiest of married couples have their arguments; however, most couples manage to get through the wedding day without any fights. One couple started their marriage with a fight in a hotel room, on their wedding day which led to the groom being hit with a stiletto heel and being treated for a head wound. The bride still in her wedding dress was detained by police. The couple who are still together had to pay £500 for the damaged they caused to the hotel room during the fight. Wedded Bliss.

There are some odd people about. One man in New York attacked a peacock because he claimed it was a vampire. The unfortunate peacock had wandered into a Burger King parking lot where people were feeding him. The crazed man then started to kick the creature telling people he was killing a vampire.

A golfer in Nevada managed to start a grass fire when he tried to get his ball out of the rough. When he knocked his ball into the dry grass and tried to hit it back onto the fairway, the golfer managed to hit something that created a spark and the dried grass set on fire. The fire burnt 20 acres of grass before it was put out by 50 firefighters. Thats what I call a bad at golf.

They have an unusal rat problem at the police department in India. Rats have been gnawing through beer cans and the caps of whisky bottles to get to the alcohol inside. The police department would usually sell the alcohol which is seized from illegal sellers in order to raise money, but due to their current rat problem are currently unable to do this. Rats under the influence have also been attacking people near the police buildings.

A squirrel in Germany went on a violent rampage attacking three people. After attacking a woman and a builder, it finally met its match when it tried to attack a pensioner who beat it to death with his crutch.

In a rather bizarre robbery two men assaulted another with a swordfish, after they broke into his home. The victim who lives in Queensland, Australia was left with cuts to his arms, hands and back. An odd choice of weapon but surprisingly effective, it seems.

A truck driver managed to drive four miles along a motorway with a man in a wheelchair stuck to the front of his lorry. The wheelchair with its passenger became stuck to the front grille of the truck when it stopped for gas. The truck driver then drove off at speeds of around 50 mph and was pulled over by the police four miles later to be told there was a man in a wheelchair stuck to his truck. The man in the wheelchair was not hurt but he did spill the soda he had been drinking.

You would expect the police to be very aware of simple security measures such as locking doors and windows but it seems not all policemen are. A police station in Northern Ireland was burgled after police officers went on patrol and left the windows unlocked and the alarm switched off. Great security guys.

A new sport is becoming popular in Denmark show jumping but with rabbits instead of horses. There are a number of different disciplines that the highly trained bunnies can compete in.

We can all rest easy in our beds, safe in the knowledge that were we to lose an important item such as a shuttlecock the police would investigate promptly. When two teenage girls in Cambridgeshire lost a shuttlecock in a neighbour's garden the matter was taken very seriously by police who visited the neighbour to investigate the theft of the shuttlecock. I wonder if the police would arrive that quickly if someone was trying to break into her house.

Have you ever wondered what a cat would do if you put it on a treadmill? Not much if this example is anything to go by. I must try this with my cats.

No seriously. 600 people on spacehoppers hopped together on the millennium bridge to beat the previous record of only 551 people on spcaehoppers hopping together. Strange.

An illegal beaver has finally been apprehended in Perthshire. He was tracked down after trees began disappearing in the nearby area. It is not known whether there are more beavers still on the loose.

Driving a lorry can be tricky at the best of times but driving a lorry whilst three times over the legal alcohol limit and cooking sausages, well that’s a challenge. One German lorry driver did just that and managed to set fire to his lorry when the gas hob he was using fell over. 

Why put penguins on a treadmill? To monitor their heart rate of course. As part of an experiment to see how much energy penguins use to find food a group of scientists first monitored ten penguins progress on a treadmill, so that their heart rates could be calculated. The penguins were then released complete with monitors so they could be studied in the wild. I feel sorry for the penguins, they don't look very happy.

I remember playing hopscotch when I was a child. Whilst most people would see this game as innocent fun, it appears playing it could mean you get a visit from the police. That’s just what happened to one little boy according to an article on The Telegraph’s website. Ryan and five of his friends had just marked out a hopscotch court and were enjoying their game, when two policemen arrived at the scene acting on a tip off from a neighbour. Apparently, the children in using chalk on the pavement were creating graffiti. Obviously this is an incident that requires a rapid response; I’m surprised the police force didn’t feel it necessary to send out a swat team and a helicopter. Later that day it rained and the “graffiti” was no more. I can’t help thinking police time could better spent catching real criminals.